In the past three months, I have lost two very important people - my younger brother and my grandmother. To say that this season has changed me doesn’t fully cover the feelings of sudden and heartbreaking loss.
My brother and I were always close and to lose him felt like I lost a piece of my childhood (which if you know me you would know that I treasure)! It also meant losing a best friend to my young children. When he passed away I was in the thick of getting my seeds planted and garden planned. His sudden passing and all of the healing and family time that followed pushed me back - a lot. I felt uninspired to keep going until I found a reason- finding a way to do it for Joel. He was not a gardener but he knew I was and enjoyed playing with the kids in our garden and supporting me and my dreams. He was also tough and didn’t give up when challenged. I knew the best way to honor him was to keep going. So here we are… far from the flourishing garden I had planned for but still trying. This year I won’t have nearly enough flowers to support the plans I was dreaming about but I will have some!
My grandma loved flowers. Some of my earlier memories were swimming in her pool in Arizona surrounded by desert flowers and foliage. We also spent quite a bit of time painting bright colorful blossoms together. Our easels sat next to each other and she would compliment and coach me as we painted daisies, peonies, and hot pink hibiscus. I never grew in my ability to paint or draw (I’m still stuck at the stick figure stage to be quite honest) but it helped me appreciate and love the details of flowers. I may not be able to paint or draw them but I can grow them! Some of my grandmas brightly painted blooms are on display in my daughters room and I will forever cherish them. I’m happy to honor her and her love of flowers by growing them and sharing them with others.
In honor of the good that my brother did in this world I want to donate to an organization I hold dear, Code 4 NW. For my first couple openings I will donate a portion of what we make to them, in honor of Joel. I will also keep moving forward even when it's hard.